Buzzing with happiness

HE'S HOME! HE'S HOME AND LIFE IS GOOD!!!! :)

It's just a matter of hours.....

Well, i am now meerly hours away from being reunited with the man who is my world! Eeeep! Naidel is currently preparing to come home, and should be back in the UK early hours of the morning. Naidel's mum and I shall be going to bed early tonight so we can get up at 3am (!) and drive down to get him. I am very very excited, overexcited in fact, which is causing me vast stomach aches. He has been stuck in the airport terminal since yesterday morning, and he's not a happy bunny, bless him. He's tired, his feet hurt and he just wants to come home. Why do i get the feeling Mr Grumpy shall be making an appearance when he gets off that plane? Oh well, i have some cookies to take to him, so im sure that will make him smile.
Yesterday was very busy, and i am still suffering the tiredness from it now. We had to take Naidel's brother to a social event thingy, went shopping in Boots for various toiletries needed, had a wander round Next where i discovered a gorgeous blue shirt (blue isnt usually my colour, but it suited me quite well) which is perfect for going to meet Naidel off the plane in, and found an absoloutely beautiful green evening dress in which i apparently looked fabulous but i couldnt afford :( Its very annoying when that happens. Then we went to the TA centre and had a chat with the various families we have come to know, and had a chat with a friend of ours who is on his leave from Helmand Province. Then we battled our way through Tesco's, which was filled with many many people who all drove their trolleys over my toes and claimed it was my fault. Then we managed to have a 10 min doze before having to get ready and go out. We went to the Hamlet Centre to a Race Night, where we bet on horses and then watched a video of the race. Twas actually quite good fun, and i had a few wins. There was a few aptly named horses that i took a liking to, such as "Marching Orders, by Army out of Step" (in reference to Naidel), "Moody by Got out of Wrong Side Of Bed" (also in reference to Naidel), "Student's Dispair, by Exam out of Time" and "Lawyer's Tears by Settlement out of Court". And today there is even more busyness as i have some last minute preparations for Naidel's homecoming - mostly girly stuff such as plucking eyebrows and exfoliating, sitting around in a face mask whilst avoiding the camera. That kind of stuff. Oohh, speaking of, i should really be getting on with it, not much time left!
HE'S ON HIS WAY HOME! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! :)

P.S - This is likely to be the last post from me for a week or so providing he's home on time, so i'll catch up with y'all soon!!! :)

Preparation and Aprehension

Its now the official countdown to Naidel's return. He was due to leave Kabul today for Kandahar, so he'll be home soonish (not allowed to say exactly when due to the secrecy stuff). I haven't heard from him since Wednesday, and i don't really expect to as the mobile phone signal is fairly poor over there and he wont be able to discuss him homecoming in case it gets intercepted by the enemy.
I watched a very upsetting report on the news this evening. It was about a solider of a similar age to Naidel and I who was killed in Iraq. He had written a letter to his girlfriend and family before being deployed and left it in the care of the army should anything happen to him. They went public with the letter, and his girlfriend was reading it out on the news. It actually brought me to tears, it was very moving, but very concerning at the same time. I really dont think i could go public like that if anything ever happened to Naidel. It put in sharp contrast my fears about him coming home.
I am very worried about him being in Kandahar and very worried about him flying home. I will feel a whole lot better as soon as i know he's away from Afghani airspace! I'm also quite aprehensive about him coming home in a personal way. We've been apart from just over 4 months now, and it worries me that he may not like me when he gets home. I know its probably really silly, but he's probably a different person now than when he left. What if im not what he wants any more? What if he's not attracted to me anymore? I have to admit, i am a bit of a heffer at the moment, i wish i could look better for him. I'm sure it'll all be fine, and i know its just my ridiculous paranoia talking, but i still worry. Its only because i love him so much and i never want to lose him. I have no doubt that as soon as we see each other again all my worries will be banished :)
I did my handover at work today which was fairly stressful as there was lots more than i realised to go through! I had my hair done at lunch time so i look my best for when Naidel gets back. Everyone said how nice it looked. Except Captain Sarcasm of course. I believe his comment went something along the lines of: "Ah, you've been to the hairdressers. So why did they leave i giant ginger stripe down your hair? Oh wait, thats just your roots". I spent the rest of the afternoon blanking him, until he finally caved and said it looked nice.
Last night was spent tidying our room. Its amazing the sheer amount of shite that i seem to have accumulated in the last 4 months!!! Managed to do it in the end tho, and now it is tidy and fresh and clean again.....until Naidel gets home and dumps his stuff all over the floor that is!
Preparation for his homecoming is almost finished. If this is the prep we have to do for him to come home for 2 weeks, i dread to think about the stuff we'll be doing when he comes home for good!
Ah well, back to the preparation! Only a couple of days to go.........

"F*** Off, I'm Ginger"

Last night was spent tidying my room (Naidel is home very soon and our room looks like a bomb made of clothes, books and bits of paper hit it), watching the new series of 'Rome' on BBC 2 ('Tis a continuation of what happens after Julius gets stabbed by Brutus in the Senate. It literally picks up where the last series left off) and watching an interesting programme aptly named 'F*** Off, I'm Ginger'. It followed a ginger comedian on his quest to discover why ginger people get bullied and why ginger people dont get laid as much. Was very very interesting. Apparently, men find ginger women a turn on because their pale skin makes them seem fragile, which makes them want to protect her, and the ginger hair is seen as firey, which makes them seem more exciting (i'm not sure if this is true, being a woman myself. Will have to ask Naidel when i next speak to him. He is the font of all knowledge after all). For men, its much more tragic. It has been scientifically proven that when women are looking for a mate, they size up the guy's immune system. So tall, dark guys who tend to have a slight tanned tinge to their skin come across healthier, and therefore more attractive. Ginger people tend to have pasty white skin and so look less healthy, which is a turn off to women, and the fact that ginger hair is a mutated (but dominant) gene turns them off as they fear they may produce ginger children (i have to admit, Naidel has a very good immune system, so there must be something to this theory). I think i absorbed more science and biology while watching that programme than i did in the whole of high school! At the end of the programme they presented the new advertising campaign that is going to be launched promoting how great ginger poeple are. The tag line is "You can't beat a ginger", and the billboard adverts feature a series of ginger winners (such as Winston Churchill, Nicole Kidman and Boris Becker) and non-ginger losers (such as Hitler, Cameron Diaz and Tim Henman). Clever stuff!

I also managed to get my hands on a pair of the new design Rocket Dog shoes which only came into the stores yesterday AND i was the first person in Norwich to own a pair! Go me! (see pic below)

Aren't they sooooooo divine? And they're so comfortable and cushiony inside! A practical steal at £20 a pair! Sadly my other shoes, my old faithfuls, gave up the ghost and completely disintergrated :( But now i have new pretty ones yay! Anyways, enough about shoes, back to plotting the take-over of the universe......

P.S - NAIDEL IS HOME SOON! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO! :) As you can guess i'm very very excited :)

Auntie Kaiorli to the rescue!

Today my amazing maternal instincts were called upon as our sales director, Glen (who we aptly nicknamed 'Captain Sarcasm'), needed to go into a meeting. This proved problematic as he had his little 10-month-old cherub, Haydn, with him. So he called me down to Mark's office, handed me a bag, a bottle, some juice, a nappy, a packet of Quavers and a baby, and said, "dont worry i wont be long". I looked at the baby. The baby looked back at me and drooled slightly. Then he started to giggle. Phew! It was touch and go there for a minute, he looked like he was close to crying! We had a fairly entertaining morning. I heated his bottle and fed him, which he promptly threw at me when he had finished, gave him some Quavers and his juice (which he tipped down his front and managed to get mashed Quaver in his hair...ugh), then we had a wander round the office to speak to all the funny people. When he got bored of that, we played aeroplanes and tickle and played with a juggling ball (which is now shredded to bits as Haydn kept putting it in his mouth before he threw it). He was just starting to settle down when Glen reappeared (two hours later!!! Wont be long my backside) and took him off me, to which Haydn reacted with great disdain and promptly started to bawl his little eyes out! Bless, he was sooo cute with the little toes and his little hands and the sweet little smile (Naidel, if you're reading this, don't panic, i will not be insisting you impregnate me when you get home)! It was great, i am just extreemly knackered now (and missing a chunk of hair where he tried to pull my earing out and missed). You know, one day im going to be the best mum ever. Until then, i'll stick to being just little old me (i'm sure Naidel will breathe a sigh of relief at that XD ).

explosive cherry pie.... *shock horror*....STOLEN!

Today has been much like any other...paperwork, clients, a nap on the filing pile. I am however one day closer to Naidel YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! When i returned home however, it was discovered that our new weapon devised by our clever ninja scientists working in the field of pienuclearology (yes folks, its a word...and no i did not make it up....its real science....honest....no really....stop laughing) - the explosive cherry pie - has been stolen from TPHQ by none other than our greatest archnemesis, The Masked Fiend!!! Clicky here > >http://team-paperclip.livejournal.com/< < to read the full story. Rest assured, Psy and I are working flat out to resolve the situation, and we have teams of Ninja Kitties patrolling the streets to ensure the innocent population is kept safe.

Bah!

Today i have been 'Bah!'ing a lot, much in the style of Bruenor Battlehammer, and its not even midday yet. One of my advisors is giving me gypp, which is always fun, i am very sleepy (too much late-night studying and reading 'The Thousand Orcs'), and when i get home i have to submit my poetry TMA, which strikes a great deal of dread in my heart and makes my stomach go all wibbly, much in the style of a jelly that is not quite set yet. I managed to get three poems written that are vaguely coherent, and thankfully i am only 2 lines over the 40 line limit, which my tutor has confirmed is acceptable. Now i just have to write the mind-numbing commentary about the creative process and the re-drafting and blah blah biddy blah im so stuffy give me a scone... thankfully that only has to be 500 words, and most of it i can blag. The only thing driving my poor tired brain right now is the thought that this time next week i'll be cuddled up to Naidel.
Its absolutely pissing it down with rain and i havent brought an umbrella....i havent even got a proper coat :(Not to mention the suspected 'female troubles' i am currently suffering with, which is causing me to bite the head of anyone who so much as breathes in my general direction. I have been eating sweets again, which is doing nothing good for my stomach (not to mention the weight). Its just one of those days. I feel a nice warm bath and an early night is in order. At least i'll be able to relax when my poetry stuff is finished :)

P.S - Happy Birthday Cousin Lisa! Welcome to the 21 Club! :)

One week to go....

We are now on the countdown for Naidel's return to the UK. One week left until i'm reunited with the man i love and adore! I can't wait!!!! I am dying to be back with him, we've been apart so long now and i don't know how much more i can take! This week is going to go soooooo slowly because i'm going to keep staring at the clock and wish time to go faster so i can be with him! He is currently taunting me at the moment tho, because apparently he has a suprise for me, but im not allowed any clues and i can't have it til the end of RnR! I'm sure it'll be worth the wait tho - Naidel is very good at suprising me. I'm sure i'll love it, what ever it is (its going to bug me lots......what on earth could it be????). It'll be the happiest day in my life when i can feel his arms around me and rest my head on his chest. After all, the only place i've ever been truly happy and the only place i've ever truly belonged is in my Naidel's arms. I can't wait to look into those crsytal blue eyes of his, and see that mischeivious little smile he gives me. I know that when he is home and by my side i'll be whole again.
This weekend was spent fairly leisurely. On saturday i studied for many many hours and broke a few braincells, and in the evening we watched Dr Who (with the enigmatic and charismatic Captain Jack Harkness) and then watched 'Dungeons and Dragons 2: The Elemental Might', which was pure cheese. Twas amusing though, we spent most of the evening taking the piss out of it!!! :) Today i went to a BBQ at my Dad's brother-in-laws, which was...well....fairly boring really! I barely knew anyone there except my uncles and my two cousins (and Dad obviously)! I spent most of the day talking to my cousin Alison. Then it was back to studying when i got home. *Sigh*.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT THE SURPRISE IS!!!!

Poetical Tedium

Someone once said to me, "only a boring person gets bored". I don't know about you, but i never considered myself boring, theres always something going on in my head. Yet somehow im still bored. I attempted to solve said bordom and the tedium of the office by writing poetry. So far i have one word. Thats all i've written since 8.30am. I still cant get my head around the text book and im getting more and more frustrated with it by the minute. Today i went and bought myself 'Teach Yourself Writing Poetry' in an attempt to aid my awful poetical skills. Sadly, i feel it may be too late. The assignment is actually due 29th June, but Naidel is home that week, so im going to need to do it next week. How im going to knock out a 40 line poem of any decent standard in a week i'll never know. Lets just pray the muses are smiling down on me eh?
Naidel is home in just over a week! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! (Can you tell im excited? :-P) Soon I shall be the happiest woman in the world again :) Right, wheres that chocolate brownie...

Clock-watchers

Clock-watching is an inevitable and fatal affliction of the office administrator. They put clocks on everything nowadays - your computer, your phone, theres even a clock on my calender - so how are we supposed to avoid clock-watching? After my painful and rather barbaric abscess-draining yesterday morning, the day lagged dismally, every second seeming to take an hour. And sadly this morning is very much akin to yesterday. The phones arent ringing, my to-do list is practically empty, and everyone is deathly silent. I know what you're thinking - why is this girl complaining about it? Surely its a good thing that she has done all her work and the phones arent ringing off the hook? Well, oddly enough, no, its not a good thing. Because it causes us to clock-watch. If i've been busy i dont notice the time, the day goes quickly and i actually feel like i've done something with my day. Boredom always makes me feel sleepy too....half tempted to lay my head down on this pile of files and have a little nap.....unfortunately the 'Big Cheese' director is in the office today, and Jenkins is back from her time at the Hospital of Dooooom so i probably couldnt get away with it. It doesnt help that i have developed 'calender-watching' as well as it is getting closer to Naidel's RnR break. For some reason my brain wont register the fact that no matter how many times i look at the calender its not going to suddenly be tomorrow. Ah well...back to counting the seconds...

Quest for the Illusive Gas Canister (and other stories)

Well, yesterday was full of thrills as we embarked on the great BBQ adventure known as The Quest for the Illusive Gas Canister (and other stories). With the promise of food ahead of us, we trundled off to Makro to get the BBQ in question - a green, gas-powered monstrosity that has lava rocks in it to keep the heat. Only after the BBQ had been lumped into the back of the small punto (believe me, i felt for that poor little car as the wheels sank into the arches) did it occur to us that we would need gas. So, away we headed in the general direction of the camping superstore, on the way to which we got lost, the other car following us dissappeared, then reappeared in front of us somehow, only to find it was closed. Bugger. Ok, next port of call - the neverending DIY vortex known as B&Q. It amuses me when i read the sign for the new B&Q, as it is called a 'mini warehouse'. Step inside it - theres nothing 'mini' about it!!! If you get lost in one of those aisles they'd have to call a Search and Rescue team with sniffer dogs to try and find you, and even then you only have a 10% chance of them finding you alive. So, we established that they had gas, and purchased said gas. THEN they asked us if the BBQ allowed that kind of gas. And guess what - it didnt. So then we had to buy a gas regulator. By this point it was pushing 4 o'clock and my stomach was rumbling. Whilst all this was happening i was merrily trundling along the paint aisle picking colours for my latest project (careful of course not to stray too far should i get lost and be forced to wander the DIY warehouse for eternity). I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally arrived home, only for it to turn into a snarl of agitation as we discovered the BBQ was flat packed and required building before we could eat. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I ignored the screaming pain of the absess in my mouth and ate half a box of Jaffa Cakes. So much for losing weight before Naidel comes home! We eventually ate around 6.30pm, and i was worth it in the end. I spent most of the evening on my latest creative project - painting little coloured squares on a big wooden storage box. Sounds easy, huh? Its not without masking tape. Trust me. I have the cramp in my hand to prove it.
Today has proved to be the usual crap - problem clients, masses of paperwork and sniping comments from Captain Sarcasm. The absess in my mouth isnt helping, but thankfully i have an appointment at the evil dentists tomorrow morning to get it fixed. So hopefully i will be all tickedy boo again soon.....hopefully.....

The R.Tam Sessions

Psy has found a link to some uncirculated footage from Firefly/Serenity. The word on the net is that it was filmed between the end of Firefly and Serenity. It features the genius of sci-fi/fantasy himself, Joss Whedon, as a Doctor in the mysterious 'Acadamy' and Summer Glau as River Tam. It shows River's deteriation into madness as she spends more time at the academy. The sessions are shown out of sequence, but thats the way its meant to be. Stick with it, its very good (and very creepy in places....Psy knows what i mean.....i.e the"I can see you" incident). So without further adeu > > http://www.session416.com/ < < Clicky!

In Memorial

In memory of Arthur John Spooner, the greatest Granddad and father figure a girl could ever have. We love and miss you, you are always in our hearts. Your lessions have stayed with me and always will.

To the Naming Board, Away!

As i mentioned before, my Ninja Kitty arrived in his top secret package today, but at present still remains nameless! (see pics below of Ninja Kitty on my desk at work)

We have discerned that the kitties are in fact male (though there is nothing anatomical to prove this, being cuddly toys, we just thought they looked quite masculine, plus ninja is quite a male-orientated job)
So far i have come up with a grand total of zero name ideas (the creative part of my brain is zapped with poetry studying), so i emplore all you out there - HELP ME FIND A NAME FOR HIM!!! Leave your name idea for consideration as a comment on this post and then we shall put it to a vote.

So, to the naming board, away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thunder and Lightening Very Very Frightening

*Hides under desk from storm* Well, the nice weather has truely gone now. It has been raining since yesterday morning and now there is a raging storm outside. I wish Naidel were here, he was always so good at calming me! This morning i woke up with raging toothache *ducks at sound of thunderclap* and my cheek is all swollen. I cant eat on the right side of my mouth :( Its actually really bloody painful and ibuprofen isnt touching it :( I would go to the dentist as i think it may be an absess under my tooth, but its really really expensive to go to the dentist!!! I am going to look into a private dentist next week, but in the meantime *blinded by lightening flash* i will have to rely on the painkillers to stave off the pain. My ninja kitty arrived this morning (yay!) after i yelled at the nice people at the Rathergood.com shop. So now our team is complete :) *jumps at thunderclap and bangs head on desk* Naidel's parents are due home today - shame they have to come home to such pants weather!!! Psy and I cleared up the house last night and made it vaguely presentable for them. It was great having Psy stay for a few days, i shall miss not having her in the house :( Nevermind, im sure i can arrange a Team Paperclip sleepover again soon! Right, i'm off to eat my banana (i dont really like bananas, but it was the softest food the sandwich man sells, and i figure chocolate would be a bad idea)

High heels of dooooooooooooooom

Well, yesterday's meeting went relatively well, though i suffered through most of it due to my idiotic notion of wearing high heels. I decided to dress smart yet summery, and sadly my new Rocket Dog flaties (which have, for the record, torn my feet to shreds thus leaving my toes and the backs of my ankles covered in plasters) just weren't up for the job, so i had to fish through the black hole that is the shoe cupboard at high speed (i had overslept and Kate was already waiting for me down the road) for my only pair of high heels. I was then forced to run down the road and across the A140 in them (which i did without falling over or breaking my ankle). By the time we'd gotten to the meeting venue i couldnt feel the balls of my feet or my toes, other than a sharp pain in them. Foolish foolish girl, thinking i could walk in high heels. I did look very stylish though, so cant complain too much. Aside from the presentation i was largely ignored at the meeting (my presence was largely pointless and thus bordom struck so i started doodling, which earned me a slap on the wrist by one of the directors when i got back) except when people wanted drinks. At that point disaster almost struck when my heels decided to get back at me for swearing at them and caused me to trip whilst carrying hot coffee. I almost spilt it all over my boss and myself, but thankfully someone grabbed my arm and steadied me in time. Phew! The rest of the day was spent the usual way - paperwork, paperwork, evil clients and more paperwork, with a bit of banter in between. I was sooooo relieved when i got home and was able to peel the offending heels from my feet. Psy and I successfully made a sweet and sour chicken stir fry but had issues with our Ben and Jerry's for dessert as we couldnt prize the toffee crunch bits out of the vanilla ice cream. Booooo. Then we watched crap TV, had a sing-song to The Mysterious Ticking Noise (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4< < < Clicky, tis funny), had a pillow fight (Psy poked me in the eye with her pillow), had a quick chat with Naidel, had another singsong to Buffy's Once More With Feeling (genius episode) and then fell asleep. This morning i am back on invitation-writing duty (which is actually quite relaxing), until Glen comes back from his appointment and finds some irritating job for me to do. Ahh well, at least theres food in my draw today...ooh and peanut cookies!!! :)

STRESS!!!!!

I think today was one of the most stressful i've had in a few days. I had such a bad headache at one point i thought i'd burst a blood vessel in my brain or something! Jenkins was still in hospital today (they still dont know what was wrong with her and the scans are all clear...very bizarre)and in typical fashion two of her bigger profile clients called up with issues that needed to be dealt with immediately. Annoyingly, i was not qualified to deal with these issues, though i tried very hard to do it myself, which was in retrospect, very silly. Plus i had a whole bunch of other jobs lumped on me, including going through ALL the 2005 files (the are lots of these and i mean LOTS) and checking review dates (thus turning my desk into a fort of files) and producing a flawless powerpoint presentation or two in the space of an hour (that includes making charts as well as the fun stuff like animating the titles and stuff). I walked down to a local solicitors office to drop off some documents for one of our clients for some air (and some space from the constant demands!!!), and the solicitor's PA made me a cup of tea and sat me down for a chat, whcih was really nice of her. Then when i got home i carried on with working as i had to finish writing out the invites for the company BBQ, as well as the more domestic duties such as sorting out the rubbish, doing the dishwasher, ironing and general clearing up. Its days like these i really wish i had my Naidel home. If he were here he'd cheer me up immediately and de-stress me. I miss him so much, and i am so thankful that its only three weeks til he's home and i am back in his arms. I very much took him for granted when he was here, i realise that now, but i wont again. I am a very lucky woman to have someone like him, and i'll do everything in my power to make me worthy of him.
Well, best get some beauty sleep, got a big company meeting and i dont want to have bags under my eyes!

Acting Jenkins

Well today has been full of busyness as one of my advisers - Emma Jenkins - was taken into hospital over the weekend, so i had to sort out all the cases she hadnt finished as well as all my usual duties. So muchos busy. Thankfully the sun is still shining and its still really hot so i can still enjoy some of the glorious summer weather before it gets dark :) I'm hoping this summeryness (is that even a word?) is going to inspire me with my poetry as i am still struggling in a big way with it. i only have about 3 weeks til my assignment is due and i'm bricking it in a big way! Hopefully a muse will touch me with inspiration soon.

Freckle Face

This weekend has been the best i've had since Naidel left for war. I went shopping with my Dad yesterday and dragged him round many many shoe shops. Then we met Psy and Naidel's sister Katie and went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3, which was oober. It was a really good film (with a lot of crabs in it), bit hard to follow tho. Then Psy and I went home and enjoyed some quality sugar with Gerald and Ninja Kittie whilst watching 'Mean Girls'. Theres a few things in that movie we wished we'd though of back in the old days of HHS!, i can tell you!!!

Psy had to trundle off to work this morning, so i had the day to myself, which i spent killing brain cells painting Nai's Warhammer 40k army and enjoying the beautiful sunshine. It's possible i may have burnt my back when i was studying in the garden. Its officially summer now as freckles are covering my nose and most of my cheeks. Its odd - i havent been this freckly since i was 8 years old! I spent this evening dozing and watching Dr Who whilst telling myself i should be studying.

Ah well, back to work tomorrow i guess. Still it was nice to be able to finally enjoy the summer weather as opposed to seeing it through my office window :-)

Pinch, Punch, First of the Month

Today is the first of June, which is marvellous, because Naidel is coming home at the end of this month!!!Hoorah! :-) In roughly three weeks time i'll be cuddled up to my hunni again :-) Today is lagging soooo badly....i think its because the weather is so nice.....I WANNA GO PLAY IN THE SUN!!! Instead im stuck in my prison cell of an office staring at the blue sky and talking to people who appear to have recently had a labotomy (not that i'm bitter...). Ah well, at least we get to finish early today! I am going to meet Psy in the City when i finish and we shall go and enjoy the glorious sunshine with caffine and Skittles :-) It looks like i will be juggling painting Naidel's army and studying this weekend as i have shed loads of poetry stuff to work on! Thankfully im not the only one who is struggling - Lay and I are both pretty much in the same situation, and i think Anna and Shelagh probably are too. It doesnt help when annoying know-it-alls who couldnt write their way out of a paper bag post on OUR forum when they are NOT a member of the Study Group with patronising and crap suggestions as if they are a great authority on all things creative writingy. Grrr. Since i started typing this post large white clouds have drifted across my perfectly blue sky and are beginning to block the sun......Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......i think it may be time to take some more Kalms tablets....