Preparation and Aprehension

Its now the official countdown to Naidel's return. He was due to leave Kabul today for Kandahar, so he'll be home soonish (not allowed to say exactly when due to the secrecy stuff). I haven't heard from him since Wednesday, and i don't really expect to as the mobile phone signal is fairly poor over there and he wont be able to discuss him homecoming in case it gets intercepted by the enemy.
I watched a very upsetting report on the news this evening. It was about a solider of a similar age to Naidel and I who was killed in Iraq. He had written a letter to his girlfriend and family before being deployed and left it in the care of the army should anything happen to him. They went public with the letter, and his girlfriend was reading it out on the news. It actually brought me to tears, it was very moving, but very concerning at the same time. I really dont think i could go public like that if anything ever happened to Naidel. It put in sharp contrast my fears about him coming home.
I am very worried about him being in Kandahar and very worried about him flying home. I will feel a whole lot better as soon as i know he's away from Afghani airspace! I'm also quite aprehensive about him coming home in a personal way. We've been apart from just over 4 months now, and it worries me that he may not like me when he gets home. I know its probably really silly, but he's probably a different person now than when he left. What if im not what he wants any more? What if he's not attracted to me anymore? I have to admit, i am a bit of a heffer at the moment, i wish i could look better for him. I'm sure it'll all be fine, and i know its just my ridiculous paranoia talking, but i still worry. Its only because i love him so much and i never want to lose him. I have no doubt that as soon as we see each other again all my worries will be banished :)
I did my handover at work today which was fairly stressful as there was lots more than i realised to go through! I had my hair done at lunch time so i look my best for when Naidel gets back. Everyone said how nice it looked. Except Captain Sarcasm of course. I believe his comment went something along the lines of: "Ah, you've been to the hairdressers. So why did they leave i giant ginger stripe down your hair? Oh wait, thats just your roots". I spent the rest of the afternoon blanking him, until he finally caved and said it looked nice.
Last night was spent tidying our room. Its amazing the sheer amount of shite that i seem to have accumulated in the last 4 months!!! Managed to do it in the end tho, and now it is tidy and fresh and clean again.....until Naidel gets home and dumps his stuff all over the floor that is!
Preparation for his homecoming is almost finished. If this is the prep we have to do for him to come home for 2 weeks, i dread to think about the stuff we'll be doing when he comes home for good!
Ah well, back to the preparation! Only a couple of days to go.........